Is it easy to get along with your Chinese in-laws?

Editor's note: Do foreigners get along well with their Chinese in-laws or do they have problems? Our foreign readers share their stories of living with their Chinese in-laws.

jackie

While I love my Chinese in-laws dearly and I am sure they would be thrilled if we moved in with them, I am plagued with the Western notion of wanting my own space. The house where they live (which actually belongs to my husband) has a large bedroom and bathroom that would be ours if we ever did decide to make the move, but what I am really deathly afraid of is my in-laws getting to know all of my flaws and imperfections if we lived in that close of proximity. Also, although my mother-in-law is a fantastic cook, the kitchen is clearly her space and that would be difficult for me. I love to cook, and I love my Western food. What would be ideal is to have a separate home nearer to them.

Ashleigh Son

We live with my husband's parents. Actually, they give us plenty of space to do things as we please. I am not going to say it is the same as going out and living alone with your husband only, but actually there are lots of nice things about having them there. His mom cooks lovely things for us regularly, which is so sweet of her. Also, she is always reminding us to go on dates and do fun things together. She is a good friend to me, and I can definitely call her a second mother. Also, she swears that when we have kids she will babysit!

Osyugity

I also have Chinese in-laws and I have to live with the parents and grandparents - talk about a ticking bomb. There are times when I think of suicide, which is better than dealing with them. (I won't actually do it because I have a beautiful daughter.) I guess one advice is try not to have direct conflict with them, whatever they say, just take it in one ear and out the other. That's what is keeping me alive. I hope you guys don't have children yet because they will claim your child as their own! From how to feed them, how change their diapers, who gets to hold them, to how to educate them, etc. It will drive you insane! I'm so miserable I want a divorce already and we have only been married for 1.5 yrs.

derek

A Chinese mother-in-law may, among other things, just show up and clean your apartment without notice. It happens. You may deem this inappropriate or an invasion of privacy - doesn't matter what you think. You married the daughter and it's a package deal. I feel guilty when she does this but have learned to chip in where I see an opening. I sometimes bend and do stuff that I'm not so crazy about but in the end it's worth it. Sure makes for a happy family environment when mama leaves.

John

My Chinese mother-in-law has been living with us since the week after we were married. She is a kind person but I'm finding her very controlling at times and wanting to handle ALL the household jobs, including raising my baby – some people would be so happy!

Crypticity

First, don't go with the stereotypical idea that a Chinese mother-in-law is going to be an enemy. Respect, try to communicate or interact directly and sincerely (not just through your other half). Good will is half your ticket. Second, don't live in denial that you can always play by western rules. There aren't western expectations on the side of the in-laws, so give and take is the prescription. I get along with my in-laws by the above. I taught my mother-in-law Angry Birds just yesterday. Had a good laugh.

Источник: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/2014-06/27/content_17553718.htm